There comes a point in many people’s lives when well established family roles begin to change. The people who once looked after us slowly begin to need our help. It’s rarely dramatic, but happens gradually, a parent may ask for help with online banking, maybe their paperwork is starting to pile up and phone calls about unexpected bills becomes more frequent. You may find you start to spend time arranging health appointments and notice that correspondence is becoming harder for your parent to understand.

Before long, many adult children find themselves balancing careers, their own families and the growing responsibility of supporting ageing parents. Society refers to them as the “sandwich” generation, alluding to them sitting between their younger and elder relatives.

For most, it is a privilege, but it can also be overwhelming. Aging parents don’t come with an instruction manual. No one teaches you how to recognise when to step in, how to have difficult conversations about money or how to respect someone’s independence while recognising that they may need support.

How do you help without taking over?

These are some of the most difficult decisions families ever face and the answer is rarely to remove independence. Ideally, it is to provide just enough support for someone to remain independent for as long as possible.

Sometimes that support comes from family. Sometimes it comes from trusted professionals. Often, it works best when the two work together.

At Wise Hen, we believe safeguarding isn’t about replacing families. It’s about helping families carry responsibility with greater confidence, while ensuring that the wishes, dignity and autonomy of the person at the centre of those decisions are never lost.

None of us can stop our parents growing older, but we can help make the journey a little less daunting for them, and for ourselves.